


Poster Child

by belaruslovesyou



Category: Arrested Development
Genre: Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Humor, I'm Not Ashamed, M/M, Rating May Change, Sexual Confusion, Sexual Inexperience, Sibling Incest, Tags Are Hard
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-19
Updated: 2015-01-19
Packaged: 2018-03-08 05:33:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3197267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/belaruslovesyou/pseuds/belaruslovesyou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Teen!AU. Michael, the Bluth Family Poster Child, is fifteen, and lonely, and confused, and, naturally, pretty dorky. His family's tough, but at least he has his cool older brother, Gob, right? Gob can help him with anything - ANYTHING - from the fact that he knows absolutely nothing about how sex works to his having slightly gay thoughts about said older brother - UM. I mean, his having slightly gay thoughts about which said older brother should know about. Anyway. Will contain a developing relationship between two brothers who don't know as much about each other as previously thought. Bluthcest! Yay!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Poster Child

**Author's Note:**

> So, I very recently got into Arrested Development, and I felt the need to write fanfiction, an urge I haven't felt for a while, because I'm a creep who, for some reason, likes to ship siblings together and MICHAEL/GOB SO CUTE AHHHHHHHHH. I hope you read the tags and summary and are prepared, because there will be Bluthcest. That is what we all came here for.
> 
> This chapter is short, sort of an intro. The story will pick up in the next chapter, promise.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I don't own Arrested Development or any of the characters involved. Also, I don't promote incest between living, real people. Please don't sleep with you sister and/or brother. Let's keep it legal, guys.

If you've ever watched any television or read any books or simply existed, I'm sure you've figured out that life is hard. It's especially hard when you're a slightly-smaller-than-you-should-be teenage boy with a voice that has yet to realize that it can stop fluctuating since, please, you're fifteen now, and your dad and twin sister and mother and older brother and even your kind of dumb younger brother ridicule you constantly for that and a whole other gigantic number of things. Oh, yeah; also, your family's rich and corrupt and the pressure's on you to be the "good one" who'll fix everything once it falls apart in twenty years.

Yep. That's me. The poster child of the Bluth family. Hi. My name's Michael.

I guess there's not that much pressure on me. I enjoy being the forefront, the successful one, the ambitious kid. I'm smarter than the rest of my siblings (well, besides Buster, but he's ... different), and I'm not lazy, so I get things done. I'm also not very sociable. Or dateable. I mean, I could be sociable, if I didn't have trust issues due to my less-than-ideal parents, and I could be dateble, if I, uh ... could figure out what I wanted. Besides Tracey, of course. As Lindsay has pointed out before, Tracey is popular and pretty and so far out of my league that she's "practically living on Pluto." Anyway. The whole dating thing would be a lot more attainable if I could figure out sex, too. Because I'm fifteen and I have absolutely no clue, which I realize now sounds sort of pathetic - 'I have a penis, I know what it is. I just NEED TO KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT.' - but, honestly, I'm more focused on schoolwork, so I can go on to law school and then take over the company. Who really needs to know how, exactly, one begins to engage in intercourse? Certainly not me.

Heh.

I spend most of my days like this - sitting in my room, at my desk, staring at a book. My room, of course, being a large walk-in closet, as I refused to share a room with my older brother, Gob. Also, my mother needed an extra room for ... I don't think she ever told me what she needed it for, actually. Huh.

I'm still right next to my brother, though, and I guess I can't complain that much. Out of my immediate family, I get the most affection from Gob. We fight a lot - a LOT - but he's always been there for me when I needed him, and vice-versa. I can honestly say I love him, something I'm not entirely sure I can say about the rest of them.

" ... TOTALLY banged her. Totally. We did that. Are you listening, Michael?"

I did mention that I'm still right next to my brother, correct?

As much as I love Gob, he does get annoying. He's a senior this year, eighteen, and it seems like he's been with girls since middle school. At least, he talks about it like he has. He talks to me - through the wall separating us - about all of his endeavors, since, like the rest of the Bluths, he's very good at not making friends. I don't understand why he doesn't just come into my room/closet to talk. I think he just doesn't like to see my face that often, just like mom.

"Uh, yeah. That's ... that's interesting, Gob."

Gob continues to talk about his sexual exploits without actually talking about the sex part, which is sort of terrible, because he's my big brother and I'm sort of depending on him inadvertently telling me how to do sex (have sex? Make sex?) so that, when (if) the time comes, I'll kind of know what to do. He's never slipped up and let any details out, though. I wonder if it's out of respect for the girls? If so, than that ups my respect for him a bit more. 

"Have you?"

"Wh-what?" I look up from my chemistry textbook and to the wall, towards my brother on the other side. "Sorry, I wasn't paying attention."

"I said," Gob sighs (he gets upset when I don't listen), "have you did it yet?"

"Did it? Sex? Have I ever done sex?" I rush to get the words out, feeling flustered. That feeling had been occurring quite a bit lately. "N-no, I haven't made sex yet."

I hear Gob laughing - a deep, man-like sound, since puberty was nice to him - and feel my face flush red. "Gob, would you please not laugh at me?"

"You don't do sex. You don't make it, either," he continues chuckling. "You have it."

"Well, sorry I'm not as incredible as you are," I snap at him. "I mean, as, uh, as incredible as you are at getting that sort of thing." That was an odd slip-up. Huh.

"Don't worry, Michael," I hear Gob's bed springs creak as he likely flops himself backwards on to it. "One day, your knight in shining armor will come along and you two will ride off on his fancy horse together and make out in the sunset on the beach. I can see it now. Michael Bluth and his prince."

"I'm not - " I raise my voice, then pause and turn back towards my book. Normally, I would argue and go through my whole 'I'm not gay, I like Tracey, I like girls and girly parts' spiel, but, lately, I haven't been feeling up to the fight. Not because I was tired, but because, unlike Gob and the rest of my family, I like to try not to lie, and, to be completely truthful, I'm not entirely sure that I'm straight. I don't think I'm not, but I don't exactly think I am, either. It might just be nothing, though. I'm probably just experiencing these weird feelings because I'm getting older. Nothing to be that worried about.

"What's wrong, Michael?" Gob taunts. "Not feeling flam-buoy-yawnt today?"

Stupid Gob not knowing words. I try to think of a rebuttal, but ... why? Gob knows me better than anyone else. If I'm feeling weird, I should be able to talk to him about feeling weird. He should be able to listen and help me, right? Yes. If I'm having slightly gay thoughts about my brother, that brother should know, right?

I ... I am having slightly gay thoughts about which my brother should know in order to help me. Is what I meant to say. Slip-up. 

I shut my textbook and turn back around to face the wall yet again. "Gob?"

"Hm?"

"Can I talk to you? Like, face to face? In your room? I think I need help with something."

There's a little pause. Uck, I shouldn't have asked. I don't want to invade his privacy or anything. I don't - 

"Yeah. Yeah, I can help you. Come on over, Mikey."

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter two should be up in, like, just a few hours. I hope you will continue on this story journey with me. :)
> 
> Sorry. I just realized that was a reallllllly creepy way of asking you to keep reading. Hah.


End file.
